ASK JOHN!

In honor of his recently celebrated 500^th birthday we asked our Grandpappy in the faith, John Calvin, to respond to some readers' questions. Feel free to send in some of your own!

Dear John,

I love my vacations to Hawaii, but am very anxious about flying. My husband is a patient man, but even he has his limits! Can you tell me how to relax on that long San Fran to Honolulu leg?

T.S., in knots

Dear T.S.,

Remember, our God is sovereign and holds everything up!  Let this be your mantra every day.

- John

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Dear John,

I am a bit of a chef and enjoy having people over for supper. The problem is with my Cog Au Vin. Just as I prepare to finally Monté Au Beurre is invariably when hors de oeuvres are under way. I don’t want to miss either the party or neglect my whisking duties. Is there a butter better suited to making this last critical step less time sensitive?

J.D., heatedly

Dear J.D.,

Before your guests become totally depraved you really ought to join them, but briefly. If you elect an assistant (your lovely wife, perhaps?) to run interference, your social absence will certainly be forgiven. Nobody likes lumpy sauce.

- Your friend, Jean.

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Dear John,

As a local mechanic, I am trying to make my Charger SRT8 more green. I’m running a naturally-aspirated 426 HEMI with an Arrington 90mm Throttle Body, a Stage 2 hand-ported intake manifold, and a Phase 4 custom CNC ported heads. Is E85 Ethanol my best option, or given the government's artificial and manipulative subsidies are there other moral implications here?

B.C., idling

Dear B.C.,

How many times do I have to remind you? Grace alone, Christ alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone, leave me alone.

- J.C.